Can we get a break already from the constant attack these plant-eaters are throwing at us? Can we get one second to enjoy the sweet, succulent flavor of bacon before the vegetarian menace rears it's head at us and spews it's terrible spinach-breath on us? Give me a break already. I know what I'm doing, people. I'm eating bacon in my awesome bacon t-shirt and everything is just fine, thank you.
The guilt trip that vegetarians try to lay on us is verging on the ridiculous. Videos are constantly put out that feature the slaughter of poor, innocent animals. Do you know what those animals would do to you if you were put in a pen with them? They would kill you with their animal feet, teeth, and horns until you were dead.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
The guilt trip that vegetarians try to lay on us is verging on the ridiculous. Videos are constantly put out that feature the slaughter of poor, innocent animals. Do you know what those animals would do to you if you were put in a pen with them? They would kill you with their animal feet, teeth, and horns until you were dead.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
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