Why Books On Small Talk Sell

By Beryl Dalton


Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.

Some people just have a natural gift for light conversation, and never seem fail at being just interesting enough for the occasion. These are often people who were raised in good families, which brings up the point that conversational skill is often an upper class attribute few people enjoy. Much of the advantage of attending all the right schools has nothing to do with academics, and everything to do with socialization.

By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.

There are numerous circumstances in which conversational skills can make all the difference. One of the most obvious of these is dating, a broad area of life that includes not only actual dates but social occasions in which potential lovers might happen to be in attendance. This area also includes chance encounters in which time is limited, and in which it is imported just the right impression, and perhaps not one minute in which to make it.

The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.

Most of us remember social occasions which seemed lightly festive at first, but were rife with conflict and intrigue just under the surface. Something as innocent as an art opening can be quite nearly a battlefield if one is an ambitious young painter. However, in such a setting it is wise not to parade one's ambition, but to affect a casual attitude.

The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.

It is rude not to talk to everybody, or at least a broad range of people. One must not fall into the habit saving one's newly found wit for those who will be useful. This way one gets not only invited to the right parties, but invited back.




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